Antinous for Everybody

I worship a dead gay teenager and you can too

Glykonalia 2016: Snake Discourse

prevue3Everybody wants to talk about snakes. Nobody wants to talk about penises.

No, wait.

Nobody wants to talk about snakes. Everybody wants to talk about penises.

A cute picture of a snake wearing a tiny hat is an offense to the patriarchy. Especially if the hat is a pimp hat.

What do snakes and pimps have to do with one another?

The snake is a symbol of the penis. But perhaps the penis is just a symbol of the snake?

The penis of the human male has no bones. This is an oddity in the animal kingdom. All of that proud towering masculinity is basically just hydraulic pressure.

Something’s gonna blow.

There are thirty-three vertebrae in the human spine, divided into four regions: Cervical, thoracic, lumbar, and sacral. The coccygeal doesn’t count.

There are between two hundred and four hundred vertebrae in the body of a snake. A human being is a featherless biped, a plucked chicken, one-sixth of a small snake crowned with a ridiculous wig.

All the prophets of Glykon wear ridiculous wigs. Look at David Bowie. Look at Hedwig.

A man who can swivel his hips like a snake is not worrying about the size of his penis. However, Glykon can be propitiated for penis enlargement. Act now, ophidians are waiting to take your call.

Penises are problematic. Snakes are not problematic. Snakes are sneks or noodles. The phallus is a rampant destroyer, a divine mushroom, a raging god, an intoxicant, a beast with a mind of its own.

The penis is a bishop in a turtleneck, a fireman in his hat, a divine mushroom, the gods’ joke on humankind. The snake is a prophet. Tune into the Glykon Puppet Hour and laugh along with Glykon and friends!

This concludes the Snake Discourse.

Single Post Navigation

2 thoughts on “Glykonalia 2016: Snake Discourse

  1. Call 1-800-4GLYKON now!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: